i want candy

I frequently do radio interviews to promote my books. It usually requires me calling in to a morning show in Missouri or Oregon or Iowa and chatting with perpetually smiling radio personalities. Nobody tells me in advance what questions they're going to ask or what to expect. DJs vary from thinking my book is the best thing since James Joyce to treating me in a hostile manner because I'm from NYC and my voice is a bit effeminate.

I love doing interviews. I could be in the most heinous mood - no coffee, no sleep, hating life - but as soon as I'm on the air I'm happier than the host of an informercial.


This morning I called in to "The Goose and Romi Show", somewhere on the West Coast. I stayed on hold while three women were competing for a Playstation 3 thingy, whatever contraption people are clawing each other's eyes out for this Christmas.

The contest? Whoever sucked the red off a candy cane first, won. I'm sitting in my office listening to the DJs take stabs at inappropriate innuendo and all I could think was, "If there's any contest I could win, this is the one. Why am I not there?"

By the time they got to my interview, I was so distracted that I couldn't remember my name.

I Used To Love H.E.R.

How many times have you heard someone say (or you've read it on their online profile), "I like everything except rap and country". Sometimes they they make an exception for Outkast or something.

That shit makes me upset.

Common's first hit (under the name Common Sense) could change their minds if they had the mind to listen. It's an allegory, comparing a relationship with a woman to a relationship with hip hop. It's prose for the masses.



Somewhat related -- have you seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party? I haven't seen many films in recent years because I...umm... I've been doing something or other. But I think DCBP is my favorite movie since..ummm...since something or other. I want the DVD for Christmas.

This is a long clip, but maybe you're on the toilet with your laptop and you need to kill some time. It makes me happy. Mos Def is some beautiful. And so is the trumpet player.

proteges

I always admired how Prince’s genius rubbed off on others. Or maybe he just attracted good people. If it wasn’t for Prince, there would probably be no Janet Jackson as we know her (producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis worked with Prince in The Time), Jody Watley as we know her (produced by Andre Cymone, Prince’s bassist early on), Sinead would be hitless, possibly no Tevin Campbell, Wendy and Lisa, “Sex Shooter”, etc.

George Michael is sort of a poor man’s Prince. If it wasn’t for that urinal queen, we’d never have:

Backup singers Pepsi and Shirlie, who’s “Heartache” is so candy it’ll give you a toothache.



Deon Estus, George’s bassist, who probably shouldn’t have appeared in his own video for “Heaven Help Me”.



And I recently learned about Wham!’s first backup singer Dee C. Lee. Friend Andrew J has enriched my life by giving me a Girls Aloud mix CD, the catchiest band since the days of guilty feet having no rhythm and the sun shining brighter than Doris Day. They remade a song called “See the Day” originally recorded by Dee, who married Jam singer Paul Weller. Sadly, the the Dee version on youtube sound like crap. Too bad, because Dee roller skates in the video and it makes me happy.